Nicolas Cage Films

The following article is dedicated to the review and analysis of various films starring American hero and questing enthusiast Mr. Nicolas "Nicky" "The Cage" Cage.

Synopsis
An ex-con, who is the unlikeliest of role models, meets a 15-year-old boy and is faced with the choice of redemption or ruin.

Initial Notes While Viewing

 * “Hey JOE!”
 *  G Daawg is the worst
 *  Felt very real
 *  Throughout most of it it just felt like they were doing their normal routine
 *  Scar man is a furry and went through a windshield and does not care
 *  Backstory for G Daawg’s jacket
 *  Backstory for scar man
 *  Ripip G Daawg
 *  Nick Cage is great
 *  The lady staying there goes nowhere
 *  Dog
 *  Joe has a smoking problem
 *  Sponsored by Coca Cola
 *  Very slow chase
 *  G Daawg forgets how to stand up
 *  G Daawg is himself in real life and can actually breakdance
 *  So many characters
 * <span class="x_s3"> Joe can meat
 * <span class="x_s3"> Everyone can beat up Scarman
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nicolas’s son Weston did the soundtrack
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nick said it was like he was playing himself
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very good 8/10

Review
Joe (2013) is a dark, endearing, realistic, and often humorous look at redemption and growing up in Southern rural America. Nicolas Cage delivers an incredible, layered performance and the rest of the cast is also incredible, particularly Ty Sheridan and Gary Poulter, who plays a fictionalized version of himself and whose untimely death shortly before the film's release, comparable to that of Heath Ledger's before The Dark Knight, makes the film even more meaningful as a final tribute to a complicated man. The direction is sound but sometimes unfocused, which is arguably good for the movie's tone. Joe is a movie that thrives on realism, with much of the film feeling as if we are simply watching the characters going about their daily lives, which by consequence leads to the film feeling rather unfocused at times. This is exemplified by many loose strings being left untied and several plotlines that fail to go anywhere interesting. However, the film makes up for this with gritty atmosphere, superb writing and acting, concise editing, heavy themes (and still several lighter moments), fully fleshed-out characters, and of course the well executed father-son dynamic between Nicolas Cage and Ty Sheridan. All the characters and places in this film feel real, with no small thanks to the inclusion of many real people in acting roles, and watching it feels less like watching a movie and more like spending a little under two hours observing the tragedies and triumphs that befall a southern town. Gary Poulter's G-Daawg makes a terrifying and fascinating villain, with moments of sympathy to contrast with his characteristically erratic and evil behavior. The semi-love-interest played by Adriene Mishler and somewhat comedic secondary villain played by Ronnie Gene Blevins are less developed, but their shortcomings are made up for by an amazing cast of supporting characters. Overall, Joe is a great film, and not only that, a great Nicolas Cage film to boot.

Rating
8/10

Ranking

 * 1) 1 of 4 Nicolas Cage movies so far

Synopsis
During World War II, an American navy ship is sunk by a Japanese submarine leaving 890 crewmen stranded in shark infested waters.

Initial Notes While Viewing

 * Nicky speaking directly to the camera
 * <span class="x_s3"> Extended dance sequence
 * <span class="x_s3"> No one cares about the soldiers let’s just get to Nicky
 * <span class="x_s3"> VERY SPECIAL EFFECTS
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nicolas Cage just looks so...tired
 * <span class="x_s3"> “LOOKIT DAT NOSE” (dies)
 * <span class="x_s3"> We wanna know about...SHARKS.
 * <span class="x_s3"> How did they get a color high quality image of a shark and why was it necessary
 * <span class="x_s3"> Unlit cigarettes
 * <span class="x_s3"> How did they spend so much on sets and so little on CGI
 * <span class="x_s3"> Many many explosions
 * <span class="x_s3"> Slow motion underwater Nicolas Cage with a shark is my favorite thing
 * <span class="x_s3"> (SHARKNADO FLASHBACKS)
 * <span class="x_s3"> Casually holds leg
 * <span class="x_s3"> Why oh why does Nicky not have more screen time
 * <span class="x_s3"> We came here for Nicolas Cage not these unlikeable characters
 * <span class="x_s3"> I’m rooting for the sharks
 * <span class="x_s3"> HAHA GET SHARKED
 * <span class="x_s3"> THE BOAT IS A PIANO PIANO BOAT WOO
 * <span class="x_s3"> This movie is mostly filler
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very necessary Nicky voice overs
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nicky’s PJs!!!!!!!!
 * <span class="x_s3"> Trial feels very tagged on
 * <span class="x_s3"> Kinda a bummer :(
 * <span class="x_s3"> This movie really didn’t do these people justice
 * <span class="x_s3"> Genuinely feel bad for Nicolas Cage’s career and don’t blame him for so so performance
 * <span class="x_s3"> So utterly forgettable
 * <span class="x_s3"> 3/10 just plain bad

Review
USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage is an utterly subpar and rather boring so-called "tribute" to the real life "men of courage" that the story is based on. Its budget is clearly constrained, and it shows in its laughable special effects that bring insult to the terrifying true struggles of the men of the USS Indianapolis. Nicolas Cage is clearly not having very much fun and phones in his performance entirely, which is understandable, because it is certain even he knew that no one would willingly watch this movie. What's worse than a subpar Nicolas Cage, however, is an absent one, and unfortunately we get the worst of both worlds as the producers of this film clearly could not afford Nicolas Cage to be the actual main character, despite that being what was marketed, and instead opted to focus on an unsavory ensemble of of uninteresting and widely poorly-acted side characters. The film is tedious to watch, not only because it consists almost entirely of uninteresting filler and features far too little Nicolas Cage, but because a film paying tribute to the fallen heroes of WWII should have and could have been so much better. The film lacks any and all tone, atmosphere, suspense, taste, intrigue, and realism that makes great war films great. Robert Shaw's famous monologue from Jaws does a better job of conveying the horror that the crew of the USS Indianapolis faced in under four minutes than this movie manages in its entire painfully boring runtime of over two hours. Almost every aspect of the film is deplorable, and one cannot recommend not watching it enough.

Rating
2.5/10

Ranking

 * 1) 4 out of 4 Nicolas Cage movies so far

Synopsis
A historian races to find the legendary Templar Treasure before a team of mercenaries.

Initial Notes While Viewing

 * Nick Cage is very Nick Cagey and also an exaggeratedly perfect person
 * <span class="x_s3"> Haha NERD
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very unnecessary finger stab
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very America!! Yes America good!!!!!
 * <span class="x_s3"> Stealing it in the first place would’ve caused less damage than the whole thing of the movie did in the long run
 * <span class="x_s3"> Long friendship over immediately when treasure exists
 * <span class="x_s3"> Disney’s version of an action movie
 * <span class="x_s3"> This movie has ALL OF THE PLOT HOLES
 * <span class="x_s3"> This movie IS a plot hole
 * <span class="x_s3"> “””I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence””” classic
 * <span class="x_s3"> Much convenience
 * <span class="x_s3"> Oh my god no you do not know all of this off the top of your head you’re reading from a script Nicky
 * <span class="x_s3"> Who wrote this and how high were they, like this plot is so holey I cannot stress this enough
 * <span class="x_s3"> “Hey Nick what’s your religion?”“AMERICA”
 * <span class="x_s3"> Many cool cool montages
 * <span class="x_s3"> Aha yes because hacking
 * <span class="x_s3"> Aha yes because science
 * <span class="x_s3"> High tech wire van go brrrrrrr
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nick makes it very obvious, like you’re stealing the Declaration of Independence chill with the simping and sly references to  what you’re doing there
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very early 2000s editing
 * <span class="x_s3"> No wonder the capital attack happened like Jesus this movie was a warning get better security
 * <span class="x_s3"> How does the Declaration not die
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nicolas my friend why are you annoyed that she’s mad, you just stole the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
 * <span class="x_s3"> Why do they say “steal the Declaration of Independence” so many times it just hammers in how ridiculous it sounds
 * <span class="x_s3"> Maybe this is like in Joker and Nicky’s life is actually really sad and delusional and this whole movie is his fantasy
 * <span class="x_s3"> (Squeezes lemon directly onto several hundred year old historical document)
 * <span class="x_s3"> Hostage situation- but romantic!
 * <span class="x_s3"> How are the two groups figuring out the clues simultaneously the bad guys put in so much less effort
 * <span class="x_s3"> Stop excluding nerd man 🥺
 * <span class="x_s3"> EXTREMELY Stockholm Syndrome
 * <span class="x_s3"> And no one else has found these? As the movie goes on the clues get very obvious
 * <span class="x_s3"> “””early American x-ray specs”””
 * <span class="x_s3"> ACTION YES GOOD
 * <span class="x_s3"> WHAT NO STOP SHOOTING AT HIM HE HAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE ON HIS BACK THATS WHAT YOURE LOOKING FOR
 * <span class="x_s3"> They are not very careful
 * <span class="x_s3"> The villain is literally not a bad guy he has the same motivation and means as Nicky
 * <span class="x_s3"> Very hype music
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nick Cage’s unfortunate hairline
 * <span class="x_s3"> This is gettin pretty Indiana Jonesey
 * <span class="x_s3"> My brother asked if Nicolas Cage was “the actor of Captain America” and that makes me happy
 * <span class="x_s3"> He also asked if there really was a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence so maybe it’s not that far fetched if he can believe it
 * <span class="x_s3"> I like it when Nicky gets emotional
 * <span class="x_s3"> Best line in movie history: “it’s a big bluish green man with a strange goatee...I’m guessing that’s significant” (hugs statue)
 * <span class="x_s3"> Nicky’s not going to jail............why...?
 * <span class="x_s3"> Riley’s face at the end when they kiss says it all
 * <span class="x_s3"> Googled it they said “declaration of independence” 40+ times
 * <span class="x_s3"> 6/10 not bad if you turn your brain off but better watched ironically than unironically

Review
A true Nicolas Cage classic, National Treasure makes up for its logical and intellectual shortcomings with an entertaining plot and a top-of-his-game Nicolas Cage. The film is illogical, unrealistic, corny, and unintentionaly (and sometimes intentionally) hilarious, and that's what makes it great. The plot is so ridiculous one must wonder who on earth thought it was a good idea to make, and where on earth they are so you can find them and thank them. The basic editing and direction and over-reliance on convenience and action movie cliches make it the ultimate movie to watch with a crowd and laugh at, though sometimes admittedly at its expense. It is not expert film-making and it could almost be considered a B-movie, but it wears that title as a badge of honor and offers a surprisingly entertaining and endearing adventure for you to turn your brain off to. However, to its credit, it does have frequent moments of unironic enjoyment that make it easy to put on for almost anyone's taste. It's certainly not for overly demanding viewers, but it is a fun ride regardless, if you're willing to suspend your disbelief farther than the farthest logical limit can allow. It's just a purely fun movie to watch, and Nicky seems to be having just as much fun as the audience.

Rating
6.5/10

Ranking

 * 1) 2 of 4 Nicolas Cage movies so far

Synopsis
A former thief frantically searches for his missing daughter, who has been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a taxi.

Review
Stolen is an interesting case in what happens when a down-on-his-luck Nicolas Cage at a low point in his career decides to make a movie that actually isn't as terrible as you would expect. By the looks of it, Stolen is nothing more than a low budget Nicolas Cage remake of Liam Neeson's Taken, and in many ways that is true, but Stolen is also perfectly entertaining, if not particularly good, on its own. It's a fine movie in its own right, not in a so-bad-it's-good way, but in an actually-not-half-bad way. Nicolas Cage surprisingly gives his all, especially considering being surrounded by actors not nearing his caliber, and his character itself is not uninteresting. The cinematography, practical effects, and colorful, chaotic setting (New Orleans during Mardi Gras) are all admirable and make the film an entertaining ride, albeit one with no shortage of better alternatives. Besides Nicolas Cage, the acting is mediocre but inoffensive, with no characters of any depth, but the film makes up for some of its shortcomings in that regard with its surprising amount of suspense and Cage's irresistible charm. It's a movie one could fall asleep to while another remains engaged, making it a great movie to watch with your family of varying tastes. Stolen is a film that knows what it is, and what it is is casual, undemanding B-movie fun, but it does get points off for ripping off Taken.

Rating
5.5/10

Ranking

 * 1) 3 out of 4 Nicolas Cage movies so far